There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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