yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize