i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
So many bounce houses so little time
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
