we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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