So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
