do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
