when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
