I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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