I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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