At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
