Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
