i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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