its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
