You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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