We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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