I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
