the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
