so let's talk penis.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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