I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
