got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
lol hangovers are for mortals.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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