My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
wow bdsm is so cute
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