we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
