i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
So many bounce houses so little time
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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