We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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