The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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