She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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