I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
