Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
