bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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