I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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