i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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