Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He did a backflip because drugs
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