Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
