i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Randomize
