just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
