Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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