No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
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