There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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