shes about as inviting as chlamydia
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
