"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Randomize
