I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
