I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
