You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
