i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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