If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
