Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
