We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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