4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
