I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
