Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Sext me about skeletons
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
