1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
