Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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